just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
