glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize