**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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