Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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