Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize
