She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
