honey bunches of taint.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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