On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Hippo gnu deer
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize