can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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