tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
