Sry I called you an 8
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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