i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
