I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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