I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
You don't make any sense
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