They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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