But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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