WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
