i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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