I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Randomize
