gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
