Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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