Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
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