Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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