You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize