Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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