I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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