I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
