You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
