I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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