she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
