HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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