It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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