never play flip cup with pint glasses
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize