i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
love makes seman taste better
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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