He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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