I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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