When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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