wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
