I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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