i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
