Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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