'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
