walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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