He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
