She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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