The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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