guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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