Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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