Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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