I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
