It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
