think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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