We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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