Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
