there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
