he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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