used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
