Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
