We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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